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I Tried to Save the Economy
I tried to save the economy. President Obama and Ben Bernanke you can stop worrying because I decided to do my part and get out from under the bed where I've been hiding with my money and spend. I...
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My First Kiss, Fact or Fiction?
Do you remember your first kiss? I do. Or I thought I did. I would have sworn on a stack of bibles, testified in a court of law, taken a lie detector test, or bet my first born that my first real kiss...
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Who Wants to be President?
I'm for no one who is marching to the White House. Besides which isn't it too early to fill one's brain with political jabberwocky? I have enough things on my mind no less spend time remembering who is...
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Kim Kardashian Say It Isn't So!
Uh oh I just read the breaking earth shattering news on my computer - Kim Kardashian and "what's his name" are filing for divorce. Shock and awe baby! Their four day romance had restored my faith in...
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Men on Sale at Match.com
I hate to shop no less shopping during a big sale when the stores are mobbed with crazed/psycho bargain hunters. "Last Call" at Neimans almost sent me back to therapy. I was dazed, confused and sweaty...
View ArticleI Out "Carried" Carrie Bradshaw
I out "Carried" Carrie Bradshaw. Yep, I have left Carrie in the dust. I admit I could never compete with her in the shoe department or was ever brave enough to wear some of her crazy looking outfits...
View ArticleOutsmarted by My Phone
I confess, my new smart phone is smarter than I am. Yep, it's true, no contest. Hands down the phone wins. It doesn't matter that I went to college , was an English major and read a lot of books - no...
View ArticleBedroom Crime Scene
I hate hate hate bugs. So imagine my shock and horror when I walked into my bedroom and there on the floor was a crusty creature as big as a lobster. Yes, I swear it was a lobster size insect. I...
View ArticleMid Fork; a Tarnished Romance
I have no idea how to set a table. Is the spoon the loner or paired with a fork? And what about the knife? In a moment of table setting panic I feel like turning it on myself. Oh my God, what if...
View ArticleA Little Dab'll Do Ya
I hate when I walk into a department store and the first thing that happens is sales people rushing towards me spraying bottles of perfume. "No no, go away. Please, no perfume, it makes my eyes turn...
View ArticleBig Pharma and Little Me
Help me, I'm an addict, a main liner, wide eyed, shaking and itchy waiting for my next fix. Get those commercials about Viagra off my screen, as who has time for sex when there is 24/7 BREAKING NEWS?...
View ArticleSex, Prunes and the Sahara
Recently on a Match.com date a 76 year old man asked me if women over 60 still want to have sex. Btw , just as a warning he stated on his profile that he was 66; funny math I'd say. And men protest...
View ArticleYou're Never Too Old to be Ten Again
Ouch! Ouch! And OMG are you freaking kidding me?! How and why are women submitting to what seems to be the "extreme sport" of beauty? What's even crazier to me is why anyone would want to become...
View ArticleDating Dead End or I Am Out of Shampoo
Have I reached a dreaded dating dead end? Could it be? Am I ready? Admit I have bad date battle fatigue? Wail "I surrender" to the Gods of Bad Dates? Have I reached my dating limit? Do you only get...
View ArticleThe Force Wasn't With Me
My dating life has become a Star Wars movie. After vowing to go it alone and to hell with dating sites, I broke. I was weak, hypoglycemic, and concerned Advil PM was affecting my waking life when it...
View ArticleDr. Pimple Popper and Me
I thought nothing could be more disturbing to watch on TV than The Real Housewives of Orange County. Their whacked out choice of clothing , giant breasts and frightening plastic surgery...
View ArticleCURSES! OR SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE
Oh no another harsh midlife realization; some things never change. Btw, I have no idea if I am in mid or late life. It gets increasingly confusing as mortality rates fluctuate, but I insist on...
View ArticleMY INVISIBLE LIFE
I vanished. Invisible! Where did I go? HELLO!!! Can you see me now? I still have an Instagram account. Maybe I’m on a milk carton, or sign at a tollway booth. Does a woman become "Vapor Woman"...
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